So how do you actually get started with your money talk or money conversation? Well, the first thing you have to realize is why it is so important to talk about money. If you've been listening to my podcast for a while you'll understand that it's crucial to talk about money so that we all do better together. But now that you understand that, let's talk about the nuts and bolts of a money talk.
How do you start a money conversation?
Set a date on the calendar. We'll talk about setting the stage more. But you don't want your first money talk to be spontaneous and random. That won't be fun. Especially if you're married. If you're reading this then you're likely the person in the relationship that likes to think about money. But perhaps someone else doesn't. Springing the conversation on them won't help you start a good money talk!
Keep it simple and set an agenda. Don't try to plan out your whole life in one meeting. Think and dream about the future. As Dylan mentions in the podcast episode featured on this blog post, look at money as an external issue. Then identify the obstacles that are in the way. I think that is a great way to start a money conversation. Start by dreaming then work on tackling those obstacles one at a time, together.
Why money talks matter
It is how you set the foundation. As mentioned in the podcast episode, goals and dreams are just wishes if you're not talking about money. If you have something that you really want to do then it is likely that money is going to impact that goal. So make sure that you are talking about it. You have to set that foundation so that you have an equal footing to start on. What happens if you don't have that foundation?
Then you can get off to a rocky start. You can miss so many great opportunities if you don't talk about money. You can make it harder and harder for yourself to hit your goals and dreams. Why? Because you are working on your own. When you work together in a marriage you get to accomplish things faster and faster. After all, two people are greater than one. So when you combine your efforts, especially around money, you excel quicker and quicker. It's a great way to see compound interest play out in your life.
Setting the stage for a great money talk
So now comes the fun part. You have a desire to have a money talk but you want to make sure that is productive and somewhat fun. Let's be honest, your first few money talks might not be fun. That's ok though! But setting the stage right helps you get off on the right foot and makes money a lot more fun to talk about together.
So once you are ready to get started be sure to set a date on the calendar. This can eventually become a recurring date but don't overwhelm yourself in the beginning. Set one date then work on some topics that you'd like to cover in that first money talk. Be sure not to bring up those topics before the meeting. Give yourself some time to think about it and be prepared to have a good conversation. If something comes up and it can wait, then wait. Trust me, the conversation will be a lot better when you are emotionally removed from the moment when you thought up the topic.
Then take it easy! Give yourself a time limit. Don't let this first money talk become a 3-hour long lecture from one person. Most people cry over money but don't make someone else cry over money with a boring and long money talk. As I said earlier in this post, be sure to dream in your first meeting. Have a fun time with it and think of all the fun things you'd like to do with money. Identify some obstacles, then start working to overcome those in your next money talk. Then finally at the end of this first money talk, set a time to meet again. Then it will become easier and easier from there!
The RADCOACHES
Rebecca and Dylan from radcoaches.com helped inspire this blog post and they were great guests on the podcast episode featured at the top of this blog post. Be sure to check them out if you need help starting a money conversation in your marriage. It's their specialty! They are financial coaches for married couples. You can find their podcast radmoney anywhere you can find my podcast!
Money Talk with Skyler Fleming
Read more at skylerfleming.com/blog
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Email me at moneytalk@skylerfleming.com